We’re waxing lyrical when we should be waxing our skis and boards with just weeks, not months, to go until the 2024 ski season.

This year I hope to spend more time on snow. My mood directly correlates with how much nature bathing I have or haven’t done (not a lot of late) and come winter that bathing involves skis and snow and eucalypt gums and Kea parrots. Even writing about it makes me long for it.

If, like me, you’ve spent too much time at a desk and not enough time outside, then it’s time to commit to laughter in lift lines with strangers, dancing to beats after dark under a star filled sky, living in the soulful moment of meditative turns down a pristine ski run or the palpable elation that storm skiing brings.

Oh yes, I have hopes and dreams this winter, I also have guarantees.

Hopes

  1. That my ski pants fit.
  2. That the snow forecast be right, ok, at least one forecast be right, unless it’s rain then may the forecast be wrong, always.
  3. That Instagram shows my content to more than two people and may the third be Elyse Saugstad who then shares it to her gazillion followers so I can gain one more follower.
  4. That our beloved sport continues to grow through collaborations and mutual support from industry and consumer and that we still laugh at ourselves and with each other.
  5. That I not meet a ski patroller, unless I swipe right.
  6. That I don’t care that my ski pants don’t fit.
  7. That we all win Lotto so we can afford to ski or snowboard…just a day lift pass mind you, not anything else on the mountain (buy a season pass, people).
  8. That Selwyn Snow Resort open for the whole season.

Dreams

  1. That my ski pants fit.
  2. That I’ll get a walk-in table for dinner at my favourite restaurant during school holidays.
  3. That I can ski all day and party all night and then do it again.
  4. That the waiter serving me my fillet mignon is not paying 90% of their wage to live the dream in a triple share room in a garage with an outhouse.
  5. That I’ll find the love and joy I miss, in the beat of ski turns on a blue bird day.

Guarantees

  1. Someone will post a pic of a lift line on a day early in the season when not many lifts are open and it’s school holidays and it’s windy and everything’s on wind hold and caption it with “horrific lift lines, never skiing Australian again” while, um, actually skiing in Australia.
  2. Five more backcountry tour operators will open each week, all wearing Arc’teryx.
  3. Someone will post a pic of a Euro car in a ditch on a snowy traffic day with a comment about driving in snow conditions, while driving with a phone taking photos in snow conditions.
  4. Fergburger in Queenstown will have a queue, no one will take a picture of said queue and say “never eating at Fergburger again” while, um, eating at Ferburger.
  5. I’ll pay too much, eat too much and laugh until my sides split.
  6. Jakara Anthony will win something.
  7. Aldi will have a snow sale and those who can afford premium brands will complain that Aldi is having a sale.
  8. That y’all buy tickets to Weak Layers film tour in Australia/NZ with Katie Burrell.
  9. My ski pants won’t fit.

*feature image, Hotham Alpine Resort, groomers. Photo credit: Hotham Alpine Resort 2019/Hocking

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